This entry is published on Highway Weaving Esteem, the blog we have in common, but because I feel it important to share and have the widest possible, I would bring it here too. There is also another entry in this blog for family and friends ( I am a relative / friend, what would I say to a sick @? ). Here you can read the post, but if you want to leave a comment, do click on the link above, I disabled on this post so they are not scattered in several places.
As sick, what I would tell a family / boyfriend / friend?
I would say take a deep breath, ask yourself what is happening to that person who wants to have problems with food, which takes into account that these illnesses are psychological, not physical (physical consequences are, what causes , no), that are born of insecurity, lack of self confidence, a difficulty to understand themselves and express what and how you feel that the insecurity and low self-esteem, often reinforced by the imposed standards of perfectionism come from a combination of circumstances that have been forged in life that has persisted since his childhood. I would ask you not feel guilty, to admit some responsibility if there is, yes, but her strength to pull himself and to help that person you want.
tell you from personal experience, not to focus on food, they only find pouting, tears and a further separation of those who want (as someone who smokes when asked to stop smoking: it is generally angry and upset, bothered, as if he is right, and not leave him alone).
you say you have every right to care and show concern for that person, but I would ask that was not in the form of screams, despair and charges, as the person you want, you're sick, you feel misunderstood, alone and even more will harbor feelings of anger and hatred toward whom it carries with it.
I would ask you to have patience, to be informed about these diseases: what they are, how they appear, which may be the evolution, what therapy, what to expect ... in books or, if necessary, consult a physician.
I would remind those who suffer from these diseases tend to be intelligent and therefore are not silly teenagers or adults who are influenced by fashion (obviously this affects, but not the cause) and that is why I would ask that you treat that person you want as stupid, crazy or absurd, but fails to comprehend. Would reveal that, although not enough, people with these diseases often find many of the negative consequences that occur around them due to illness, such as fights between family members and, for that matter, blame and blame only makes them feel worse, not looking to cause these unpleasant situations, but the opposite: feeling better by yourself in the only known way: through the relationship with food, harmful to it may be. L @ \u200b\u200bs @ s enferm usually have a very acute sense of guilt if they are reproached for something like this will only increase.
tell you that because of the disease usually develops an unfriendly character, brusque, anxious, irritable, frecentes anger, pessimism and negativity that does not necessarily correspond to the true self of the person you appreciated, I would ask you to remember that this is something temporary that will fade as recovery occurs and do not assume that person is sad, susceptible or without personality, but is thus temporarily duration disease.
I confess you will need to be strong and is likely to be times when you feel you can not more, than he is hurting and, for that matter, I would ask you also worry about one's self, do not forget he / she, who is entitled to express their anger and even to seek help or support to address the situation.
I would ask that as unbalanced self-esteem is low and is one of the key points is to inform and seek how they can act to reinforce it. Personally, I consider it fundamental to any family or couple, even when no eating disorders. That's what I, as sick, you say to a father mother, brothers and sisters, hij @ o novi @, what would you say?
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