Dear Readers, I
time without showing on the blog, without sharing words, pictures and experiences. It has been a period of internal reflection and continuous activity-inclusive breaks ... Part of that work is a triple continuous work who is or has been involved in the process of psychological therapy, well known. I call it triple summing, and in my view, consists of three steps: observe and realize one's attitudes and behaviors Self-come together, the second following the first-, decided to confront and find ways to do so and final step, to address what we have not wanted or we could not face up to that point. Things to face can be very silly, such a shame to give time to ask a stranger, or very important, and daring to take the opinion or angry.
I must say I am very pleased with the work of my therapist, because he has allowed work to me. That's what I said earlier: "I'll tell you what to do. The solutions will find yourself, because they are in you." And it is. This has to be, I think, for actually carried out, because when you see things and sees one, or several possible remedies you want, the one you like or the one you convinced and remain convinced it is much easier to defend it, do it . So in the abstract and if no person knows in what the story itself may seem difficult or incomprehensible, but in practice just to be natural.
I had to Curran, there's no doubt, and I rejoice to remember that I've said that I made a hard worker. Nor has it been since the first day. They have been months of introspection, of reading the past and present from many sides, going over and over again sessions on the same issues; session of tears and complaints, also silences.
has proved to not allow me to certain things, I say enough, important enough that curtailing me in everyday life, outside and inside. I'm not allowed, for example, get angry. And he has been nagged enfrentrme it. I still do, each time with a little more ease, and once I escape the consciousness and may not permit me. You know what I said? I was angry. Well, for me to feel anger was that she was angry, but never identified so even difficult for me. And you can imagine the surprise of what I have to around me when I have been angry. It seemed very strange, of course. Me too! But it was worth. Has earned and deserves. I thought I would put like a madman screaming and, perhaps, to throw things, but it has not. And if it happened, allow me too. How self ...
When I started therapy, I never thought that things were going to go well. But it turned out that have left many non-permit myself. Some allowed it the other, some not. He, therefore, less tolerance for opinions and attitudes different from mine. Ha, I thought I had always very tolerant!
also went out, and keep getting some self-imposed obligations and, with them high expectations that, for having self-imposed, did not meet and that made me feel extremely frustrated. I'm still working on it.
I won trust and confidence in myself. And there have been many causes that have helped and contributed to it, with one could not have done. Although I can say that watching and letting me open the mind both bad things to good things for myself has helped decisively. When I talk about good and bad things about myself, I mean those compliments, for example, could not accept, what a great job, what come pretty today, how good you have been ... X thing. Usually put it down to chance: "there was no such thing," is that so and so left me very well to finish ", etc.. And also to aspects that I liked because it seems bad, for example, wrong-and here I have to keep putting energy, "because I tend to feel attacked (and fatal, because" I failed "," I've done wrong ", etc. .) and look for excuses when in fact it is more practical to analyze what I say and see how I can improve for next time.
in therapy have come thousands of things, well, is an exaggeration to say thousands, dozens would be more correct, more adjusted to reality. Themes have emerged related to the family who allowed me to better understood my behavior and attitudes, and behavior of my parents, for example.
very important factor was "only child" and I want to point this out again, help to banish the topic of only children, who always think we have everything: all the "good" means the topic, but is that all also includes all the "bad."
could write, but I prefer to finish with a reflection on why I do not write on the blog, apart from the obvious lack of time. One of the requirements I had was to understand eating disorders. The real need was under that age to understand why I had it, something seen in therapy, in a face to face with a therapist and with oneself. Will understand that research in my case, little could be added to general everything written here. It's a grieving process, very intimate, which was not too eager to share in those moments. My personal case, moreover, was for my fortune, mild as far as symptoms are concerned (or so I see a day) and everything was buried under them, as must happen in many or most cases, had nothing to do with eating or being very fat / thin, so much so that one day you realize you just think about those things and you do not see relationship. Well, that's what it's come to me and why I get so hard to talk about it. I felt like sharing and I had some low times that I wanted to ask for help, but according to my style, to improve "the silence, I kept firing my interior therapy. I had less desire to write about it than ever, yes I wanted, but for some reason I preferred to keep it in my head. Perhaps because it is easier to forget, perhaps because they were quick thoughts ranging from one idea to another and I had trouble placing order. There was enough chaos, but chaos was necessary. Imagine a room full of furniture and closets full, almost meticulously ordered whole, in which you must find various objects you do not know where they are. Well, let's say I had to immerse myself in every closet, every shelf and every drawer, looking under tables and chairs, in short, put everything upside down. In this search I have found memories, some better and some worse, some who know and others who turned and lying to get another angle and see new things. After about finding all that, one begins to bring order, but little by little, and now puts the towels in another closet and pulls out the vase and displays it on the table, he thinks if a cover fitted to the chair, and so on. I think you will understand the metaphor. Now - I think! - I am in that moment to put a new order, to prove what I like and accept that there are very old towels, books that I like and still follow me, and I would like to buy flowers for garnish with a more current, more faithful to my new order.
I'm going to leave here, I think it's time to rave no more ... (Hahaha)
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