had long wanted to write on this subject. So long that my head has chewed up and undo it makes me so fast and easy as slow and difficult to write about it.
I and many other girls and boys, women and men are only children, we have no brothers or sisters. Sometimes one (or one) grows only with a parent due to a large age difference between siblings or due to other reasons because they are away from home and grow almost as singletons. There
the topic of spoiled only child, the "child of father" to give you everything you want or request. Often people ask you when you say your family and only child, you feel a special look. It is not contempt, I do not think it is envy. It's a look that perhaps by having seen so many times you can not forget and know what it means. Something like: "I was saying" or "good, another spoiled." As if any of your actions, how you act or behave, gives you away as a child only / a.
may be so. I do not perceive because it is myself who acts or behaves that way (in some people.)
I've only met a person who, being brothers, I say that only children had something special in the right direction. If you are only hij @ @, you know what I mean and weird and fascinating it is to hear something like that, how happy you do not feel judged because your parents are unable or choose not to have more children. Because, after all, is something you can not control, is the decision of your parents.
And as I break the topic, I'll keep talking about it.
usually associated only hij @ @ to be pampered, be fickle / and receive much attention. What good, right?, recicbir much attention, that your parents are with you in everything you do, behind you, holding you, loving you, buying things. But the truth is stranger than fiction, and not only for good.
When an only child, parents often tip you have no other son to attend, of course, want to take care of most and best to have what they did not have, because they only have one having all and the best, exceeding what they had and went, having a better life and easier. (This can also happen when you have more than one child, is not restricted to only children, with little difference that a child "only one chance" to do things).
What most people do arises is how much attention can affect and what can be wrong with being an only child. Generally seen as positive only, forget the drawbacks.
turns out when you have siblings (of a similar age who are still at home when you're growing), attention, time, scolding, desires, frustrations, demands, are shared, and if get along with a brother or sister, you can share your feelings, fights and ally or turn against one opinion or another paternal or maternal.
When an only child, is the only one that is trusted to come out good, to behave, to study, to be educated, only to be understanding and tolerant, but also the only that demand "so you know, the only to carry out the frustrated hopes and desires of their parents.
is the only one who hears the arguments, the only one who will cry when the other (the parent) are not. If mom or dad get angry, you're the third pillar of the family will tell you to what the other has said, even I criticize because they are angry or hurt. One comes first, then the other. If there is a bang or discussed in the next room, you're just you, with your car or your stuffed animals to hear. And you're in the middle: you can ignore, ignore, or try to mediate between them, which need a lot of left hand, a lot of empathy to know when and how to say what happens to another family member without hurting too. Or you can hear and be silent. If your mother is angry, if your father has problems (say, for example, the alcohol is not my case, and you miss a cake), only one child with whom to pay. Say you live in a little more things of loneliness that when another brother to lean on or to be reflected and realize that one is not sun @, that not only happens to him.
The service is good, but will cease to be when you become overprotective, when you have enough freedom to make mistakes to learn, because you advise what to do or not do (actually I are saying they expect you to do what they want to do, because they think it right and do not want that mistake).
Parents feel their children (as I recently told a father who had lost a son in an attack): laugh when your children are happy, they are wrong, and suffer when their children are ill. Are you an only child, can only suffer or smile at you. It is a tremendous weight to know that your parents suffer from seeing mourn or to be more quiet than normal.
can make you many gifts, all right, but of no use if you feel sad or feel that your life is a shit. Of little use if you see that despite growing up, you are treated like a child, with the same protection. Of little use if you can not communicate with them better than they wanted.
In some cases, parents decide to have only one child to give what they all have not been. But ... What do we mean with that "everything"? Of very little use to give a child books, clothes, backpacks, shoes, computers, games to play and hundreds of material things when what you could improve as a parent (education, love, morals) stay at the office because when you get home you're terribly tired and can not stand the childish your child I've heard more than one parent say "I'm looking cole starts to leave me alone!" (Think about it, children are not a puppet to be laughing when we play and be quiet when we're tired and do not feel like hear mourn or complain. It is very hard to hear phrases like that). Society is changing and it is very expensive to have a child (the reality), so Mom and Dad are working to keep the house and give all child / s. Where is the love? Where the talks and walks in through games that are taught to love, to respect themselves and others?
I'm digressing ... I care too much what is now the education of children and young people and change from one topic to another.
wanted to get to the point that parents unconsciously want their children do not comment the same mistakes as their children, they can study for a degree, they hit a. .. what one wanted and could not, that something abstract that is in the unconscious as a thorn that Rozart notes with a smooth surface. And it happens that when one is an only child, also occurs in families of two, three or more siblings, mom and dad put all their hope that their son will get there. Again, it is a tremendous weight, it does not succeed, frustration, though temporary, will be great and you feel bad (if you have a good self-esteem, that's true).
Parents are not to blame for everything, or maybe yes it is due to a weakness weakness or genetic tendency ... They are guilty of everything we do, what we say or we are, how we behave in older, but much influence as it is in childhood when we get more influence, are more susceptible, a white sheet on which is written, newborn dog to be taught to behave. Although genetically
have our own biases or predispositions, childhood is essential for further development. In fact, I heard from a psychologist that is the reason that many children adopted from foreign countries suffer after both developmental disorders.
Fortunately, human beings have a survival instinct yet and it has gone bad, tends to become stronger and fight to get and how you feel. This does not mean that it is not "marked" for years.
short, which again I digress, being an only child is not just being a spoiled child is suffering from certain deficiencies and disadvantages, as can be suffered by those who do have siblings, but in different ways.
Perhaps we are special, maybe not, but since then not only have received lots of cuddling.
As said earlier, I find it easy or very hard to talk about, because I have clear ideas, but mix them with new ones, as you have seen. I hope you understand that if you have or are going to have a child, luchéis against fatigue and give you know your son / s the resources to be happy and have a healthy self-esteem, confidence and assertiveness.
Grace As I know, this topic will come ... I hope your comment! hehe
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